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Deep thoughts brought to you by Glee

Tonight’s Glee really hit home for me.  My whole life has been a battle with my self image.  Elementary school brought worries that my clothes were not cool enough, that I was too tall, and that I had to wear braces in 4th grade.  Middle school brought worries that I had to start shaving my legs, that all of the sudden I wasn’t tall enough, and what if boys didn’t think I was cute.  High School brought worries about zits, weight gain, weight loss, hair issues, facial hair issues, and at one point glasses.  Adulthood has brought on more zits, crazy yoyo weight loss and gain, more facial hair, and more hair issues.

At some point in my life I’ve wanted to change my hair, my eyes, my legs, the amount of body hair I have, my weight, my boobs, my nose, my nails, my shoulders, my butt, and even my toes

When I was at my highest weight I remember thinking “this is just the way my body is supposed to be, I need to except that,” but that was a lie.  I know that now, but how will I know when I get to the weight that my body is supposed to be at?  That I was born to be at?  How will I know when I’ve found the hair style I love the most?  The length that my nails are the prettiest?  The least amount of body hair that Im supposed to have?  Will I always want to go to great lengths to change myself, or will I find a comfortable place and stay there?

You know what?  I think that we’re always changing and growing and we wont ever stay in the same spot body wise, but I do know a couple things for certain.  I will always be the girl with the wide nose, wide butt, wide shoulders, extra hair, green eyes, long toes, small boobs, short nails, and regular height and Im okay with that.  The actual numbers or variations on these things might change, but they will always be a part of me because I really was born this way.  Lady GaGa and my Gleeks have it right.